My daughter has been after me to write a post. I’ve felt like people don’t really want to hear from me…everyone leads such busy lives. However, I think we all can learn from each other and perhaps I can share something I’m learning in this journey.
In my last post, I shared that my cancer had gone into remission. Well, that only lasted for a couple of months and the cancer returned rapidly and began spreading its tentacles to other parts of the body. I had a biopsy and we discovered that the cancer had formed yet another new mutation. However, there is not a targeted drug approved by the FDA to treat this mutation. So, the question is where do I go from here?
Many have asked me if I’m afraid or discouraged. To be honest I have to answer NO to both questions. From the first day, I was given the diagnosis of non-smokers lung cancer, stage IV, I made the decision that this would be a joyful journey. With school getting out this week all over the country I’m reminded of the saying: “In school you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” Obviously, I still have more lessons to learn in this ongoing journey. My grandmother used to tell me that nothing ever goes away until it teaches you what you need to learn or know. She should know since she overcame countless challenges and trials in her life and became a woman of great inner strength and wisdom.
One of my most recent lessons is the renewal of my sense of wonder. If you watch a small child outside on a spring morning they notice and stop to examine every little thing in their path. Their sense of wonder is refreshing. I see this joy of wonder every time I’m with my adorable little granddaughter, Winnie (her nickname for Gwen). She is in constant awe of the world around her.
In the nonprofit I’ve been involved in for several years, Inside Our Learning, we introduce “Wonder Walls”. This is a place for students to post their wonder questions. The questions need not have an answer. The goal is not to answer every question but create a culture of wonder.
Lately the word “wonder” has taken on a new meaning to me. It is a way of praising God and expressing gratitude to Him. It is the ability to marvel at His works and hand in our life. I now wake up each day with the wonder question “I wonder what God is going to teach me today?”
I love this story of the Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. All the neighbors came around to commensurate “So sorry to hear your horse has ran away. That’s too bad.” And he said, “We shall see.”
The next day the horse came back, bringing seven wild horses with it, and everybody came around in the evening and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You’ve now got eight horses.” And he said, “We shall see.”
The next day his son tried to break one of these horses and ride it and was thrown and broke his leg. And they all said, “Oh, dear that’s too bad.” And he said, “We shall see.”
The following day the military officers came around to recruit to force people into the army and they rejected his son, because he had a broken leg. And all the people came around and said, “Isn’t that great.” And he said, “We shall see.”
And this story continues in the same pattern. Perhaps rather than say “We shall see” a better response would be “I can’t wait to see what God is going to do to turn this to my good! Or “I wonder what God is going to teach me?” I have learned through different experiences in my life that good can come out of anything we face if we will trust in God and wait patiently upon Him.
We have a ping pong table in our basement and yesterday as I was picking up one of the ping pong balls off the floor I had a moment of wonder. I wondered if I immersed that ping pong ball in a glass of water and pushed it down what it would do? We all know it would continue to find a way to pop up to the surface. No matter how many times I try to push it down it will continue to pop up again. However, if I punched a hole in the ball and then put it in the water it would eventually fill up with water and sink to the bottom and stay there. It reminded me of faith. When we have faith in God regardless of what trials or challenges we face, we will constantly be able to pop back up and face another day. However, if we give up and let fear take over and trust in man we sink to the bottom of despair.
Placing our faith and trust in a loving God is believing that everything will work out for the highest good of all concerned. We accept that our way of thinking how it should be is not always the way it will work out for our best and the best of our loved ones. “God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.” I truly believe that our most severe challenges may one day reveal themselves to be our greatest teachers.
So, I don’t know about you but I can’t wait to see what God is going to do next?
