Funeral

Dani's Posts Part II

• 
  
• 
  
• January 25, 2018
• dani.batesI’ve had a hard time posting for a while. The longer amount of time that passes, the more real it becomes. It’s really hard. But dozens of friends and family members have told me how much they love my posts and learning more about my amazing mom. And I love sharing sides of her that everyone didn’t get to see. This video is from August. She was the best grandma ever. EVERY SINGLE THING Winnie did was the CUTEST THING EVER in my moms eyes. We talked several times a day on the phone and through texting since I was first pregnant with Winnie. I really don’t think we missed a day. I constantly sent pictures and videos of almost everything Winnie did and my mom couldn’t get enough. Lately, Winnie has been walking around with my phone pretending to talk to “Mummi” every day. My mom would call at least a few times a week just to talk to Winnie. Their phone calls would last for a half hour or so each time and they would just talk back and forth with Winnie babbling nonsense. Winnie’s vocabulary has exploded since my mom passed, and I wish I could hear my mom’s excitement with each new thing Winnie says. It was one of my favorite things. I really miss it. I’m so grateful for my sisters stepping in where they can and making Winnie feel just as loved. Winnie loves calling “Gabi” and “Jess” and they are so cute to talk to her on the phone and pretend they understand her stories. My sisters are my best friends and the two most important women in my life. 

December 27, 2017

• dani.batesI haven’t been able to post yet because I burst into tears every time I think about it. We were so blessed this Christmas. The ward (church congregation and neighborhood) my parents have been in for 16+ years went above and beyond to make sure we had a the best Christmas we could after losing our mom. My mom blessed the lives of so many in that ward and they are now returning the love she showed by getting us through this rough time. We came home after a Christmas program on Christmas Eve to a room full of presents, individual stockings, a dinner table beautifully set up with framed letters about our mother, an entire (amazing) dinner ready to eat, and even breakfast for Christmas morning. Outside they had lined all of the sidewalks around our house with luminaries. I couldn’t stop crying for (literally) hours. I know it’s just “Stuff,” and it’s not like we need “stuff” to celebrate Christmas. That’s not what it’s about. But people giving out of the goodness of their hearts and taking the time to make sure we were taken care of and showing us that we are so loved is what touched me. They gave my sisters and I the most beautiful necklaces. I am Christian, more specifically Mormon. We believe that because of what Christ did for us, we are able to be with our families forever. These necklaces symbolize eternity because of the circle. I believe that I will be with my mom again. I believe that there is life after this one and that my mom’s spirit is watching and helping to guide us and probably laughing at us too. I believe that families can be together forever and I couldn’t be more grateful to know about God’s plan.

December 23, 2017

• dani.batesAs we sat around my mom’s hospital bed, almost exactly two weeks ago, my mom gradually passed away peacefully. I remember Gabi saying something like, “I never knew my heart could physically hurt like this.” It’s hard losing your mom this close to Christmas. I want to be joyful and make it a good Christmas, especially for my baby sisters, but it’s difficult not to constantly think about the fact that she’s not here. We have however been incredibly blessed. We found out today that the guy from the mortuary said we had well over 600 people in attendance at the funeral. He said a typical large funeral was about 250. The chapel was packed as were several other rooms in the church building and the hallways. Walking in and seeing how many people loved my mom made me burst into sobs. My mom was truly special and helped countless people. Many have stepped in and given meals and gifts and helped at the house and sent messages and left comments and so many other things... These people who my mom served for years have seen it as a chance to give back to our family and try to make it the best Christmas it can be. It still hurts. It’s weird how it can make you hurt physically. But we have had many earthly angels come our way and show us love. We are so blessed. I am so blessed.

December 20, 2017

• dani.batesShe’s perfect. My mom, her “Mummi,” is her guardian angel and even Winnie knows that. ❤️

Dani's Posts Part I

December 29, 2017

• dani.batesThis was the day after Winnie was born. Winnie was smiling from day one, and here it looks as though they’re smiling at each other. Ten days after Winnie was born, Denny ended up in the hospital with Sepsis. They sent in hospice to talk to me and the doctors tried to sound positive about his condition, but he was very sick and it looked bad. I was still recovering from birth and in a lot of pain. We would spend the first four months of our baby’s life in and out of hospitals. I wasn’t allowed to take her in to the hospital room with me. I had so much guilt when I was with Denny and not my baby, then I had equal guilt being with my baby and not Denny. The thing that brought me the most comfort during that time was my mom taking Winnie. I had plenty of people offering to watch her. And my mom was sick with stage four lung cancer. But she INSISTED she got to take Winnie every day. Sometimes for 12 hours at a time, so I could visit Denny then get some sleep. I would just stop in to nurse every few hours, but my mom did everything else. This is just how my mom was. And she never complained. Actually, she saw it as a blessing that she was able to spend so much time with “her” baby. My mom always told me how perfect Winnie was and how she’s never seen a happier little girl. We get told that frequently actually by so many. Winnie has been a big part of getting me through this. I go for hours of feeling fine and staying distracted, then all of a sudden, even to my surprise, I’m sobbing uncontrollably. Each time, Winnie comes up to me and rubs my face and hair softly and says “Mommy...Crying...Sad.” Then she gives me hugs and kisses. She takes care of me even though I’m her mother. My mom saw how special this little girl was, just as Denny and I have seen. Such a blessing in my life right now. This is one of my favorite pictures that shows their relationship from the very beginning. They were the best of friends. Taken by one of my best friends, Jessica, who also did the amazing flowers for the funeral.

• December 15, 2017
• dani.batesWe had this necklace made for my mom for Christmas. We are so grateful to have another little girl coming to us in May. It’s hard to not have my mom around for this. But we found out the gender on Friday morning and were able to tell my mom while she was still conscious. My mom’s sister, Heidi, spent the most time with her during her last lucid hours. She told us that my mom talked more about our new baby girl more than anything else, which was so sweet to hear. And comforting. I want everyone to know that I read every message and comment and although I don’t respond often, it’s so comforting. I’m also grateful for the support when I post these sweet things about my mom. Everyone knew she was amazing, but nobody knows how amazing she really was. My mom adored Winnie more than anything else and was so excited for us to have this next little one. And we can’t wait for her to join our family ❤️

• December 14, 2017
• dani.batesThis is the only picture I can find of just the two of them, but it’s appropriate. I wanted to share about how much my mom adored Denny. For some reason, in her last few weeks she talked a lot about how much she loved Denny with several people. It seemed to be one of her main topics throughout the last bit of time we had with her. She fully admitted she was not a fan at first. Denny tends to get that reaction sometimes. Denny doesn’t care what most people think of him, so you can take it or leave it. That can put people off. But over time, as my family got to know Denny better, they all fell in love. He doesn’t do things for credit or expecting something in return. He does things because he wants to and my mom told many people about the things he did for her these last few years that I didn’t even know about. She cried sharing these things and some of his sweet text messages to her. She saw how Denny may come off as abrupt at first, but he is steady, constant, supportive, loyal, and a rock to me and my entire family. She constantly shared how much she loved watching him with Winnie and that there was no better dad out there. She adored his love and selflessness towards me. He teased her and always made her laugh, even when she was in incredible pain. He visited her when she was stuck in bed and brought her some of her favorite treats. He gave her happy music to help her stay positive through it all. And she especially loved how much he sacrificed for me and little girl. I wish I could share all of the stories with everyone. My mom always wanted sons. And that’s what Denny was to her. Not because he was married to me, but because she loved Denny for who Denny is through and through. They had a relationship deeper than most son in laws have with their mother in law. And he really is her son. I am so grateful that they got to know each other so well and truly become family. I couldn’t get through this without this man. And he continues to be my rock and my steady through each insane turn life throws at us. And I know my mom trusts Denny with her daughter and granddaughter more than she could ever trust anyone else.

December 11, 2017

dani.batesI’m holding my sweet baby close tonight. While she sleeps, she keeps smiling and I hope it’s “Mummi” (what she called my mom) visiting her dreams. The greatest blessing to me in all of this was having my mom around for almost 2 years of Winnie’s life. My mom calls her “our” baby and her nickname for her is “peanut.” Winnie brought her sunshine and became my moms greatest joy the second she was born. I hope that Winnie will always know how loved she is and will keep my connection to my mom strong. Mummi is now her guardian angel. She was the greatest mom and the best grandma. This picture was about two weeks ago and is a small glimpse of my moms obsession with “our” little peanut. Really, it does not get better than this woman. She truly was too good for this world. I’m broken right now. But I’m so glad I have my little girl to be my sunshine too. Please pray for me and my family

December 10, 2017

• dani.batesEven during her sickest and most painful moments, my mom wants her best buddy Winnie right by her. I love these people.

• November 25, 2017
• dani.batesEven though it’s blurry, this is one of my favorite pictures of all time. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Video

Here is the video with pictures of our cute mommy that we shared at the funeral and viewing.

Thank you to Clyde and Connie Stauffer for all of the work they did to put this together.

Gabi on December 17, 2017

The truth about missing you. 

(Faith isn't always about getting what you want, but surviving what you don't want).

Dear Mom,

I just wanted to write you a letter to tell you what I have learned about death since you passed away. I thought the worst day of my life was when I was kneeling by your bed in the hospital holding your hand as I felt it go from warm to cold. I thought that the worst moment was when we pulled up to the house for the first time since you passed and I saw your car still parked in the garage, or when I went up to your room and your bed was still unmade. No one told me that the worst part about losing your best friend are the days and weeks to follow. It's forgetting that when I go to call you on my cellphone you won't answer. It's those first few seconds right when I wake up in the morning when it still feels like everything is right in the world. Mom, I never knew my heart could hurt this much. It feels like someone is physically ripping it out of my chest and leaving behind a huge hole. In the midst of my heart shattering as I think about our lives without you, that's when I feel it mom. That's when I feel him, my Savior Jesus Christ. This Christmas I won't just be thinking about holding the baby Jesus as he lay in a manger, because this year mom He will be holding me.

Growing up in the Gospel of Jesus Christ I spent so many Sunday's asking you, "Why do we have to go to church mom, it's so long!" You would just smile and tell me that one day I would understand. I remember the day I called you and told you that all 3 of your girls were going to serve missions because I had finally made my decision. You were so happy that day! You later told me that you always knew I would go. I never really understood how you knew since I spent so many Sundays sneaking out of church or coming down with the, "flu." That's just the kind of person you were mom, you never gave up on your children, you never gave up on me. I'll never forget the day I got home from my mission. I went down the wrong escalator so I came up to you from behind. I remember wrapping my arms around you feeling the curve in your spine. You had been battling cancer for a year and a half by this time but still had all of your beautiful thick hair. I thought that was the sweetest reunion in my life! After being apart from you for so long I was finally home. But mom, now I know so much more. I've learned so much in this last year with you, and I know now that nothing will be as sweet as the reunion I will have with you when I leave this life and get to be in paradise with you. Then I will truly be home.

Mom, thank you for letting me take care of you these last few months. You have taken care of me my whole life. You bathed me as a child, fed me, loved me, changed me, brushed my hair etc. and I feel so honored that I got to do the same for you before you passed. Thank you for letting me serve you. Thank you for letting me love you in the way that you have always loved me. I believe in life after death. I believe I will see you again. You were an example to me my whole life but never forced me to have a testimony. You just loved me no matter what. I have a testimony of Jesus Christ because of the work that I have done on my own part, because of the prayers I have uttered, and the scriptures I have read. I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon. I know it is the word of God. I know that through Christ and his resurrection we all have the chance of living with our loved ones forever. This life is a test, and mom you passed it with flying colors. I love you, but I know you know that. I know that you are still close by. I am so grateful for the knowledge that families can be together forever. Each and everyday I will try a little harder to be a little better, so that one day I can have forever with you.

"Joy isn't the absence of pain, but the presence of God." You taught me to believe in a higher power. One that can turn straw into gold, and pain into JOY. I feel him mom. I feel the Savior and that's how I know that we'll be okay here. This is what I have learned about death since you've passed. That no matter how dark, hopeless, and unloved you feel there is someone who can shed light to even the darkest corners and hopeless minds. He is Jesus the Christ, and He lives.

You made it mom. You finally get to rest in paradise. He is so proud of you, as am I. Until we meet again momma, I'll remember to dance in the rain!

I love you.
- Gabi

P.S don't forget to save me a spot up there! I'm going to need the help, but you already know that ;)

http://gabriellejoyisraelsen.blogspot.com

Dana's Daughters

We lost our sweet mom on December 10, 2017.  It was unexpected, despite her fight with Lung Cancer for 2+ years. She was in radiation on Friday and passed on Sunday. We had a beautiful celebration of her life and shared it with so many people who loved her and who she loved so dearly. We each are going to write some things about our mom to share with her blog readers over the next little while. Thanks for following along and for your prayers, positive thoughts, and support.

Love,
[Left to Right:] Jessi (25), Gabi (21), and Dani (28)